Too Much Emotion
by PhookaUpsidedown
Summary: Starring Fandral. Has a bit of Fandral/Loki. Also contains angst and self-harm. Not quite sure of the rating, if you think it needs to be upped, tell me
1. Lost Your Light

**I was inspired by 'Firefly' by Breaking Benjamin. My first Thor fanfic and my first really angsty fic as well. Hopefully I have done this well. Leave reviews for me so I can decide if I want to continue with this story.**

Out of all 'The Warriors Three and Sif', you'd think that Fandral would be the least likely to try to kill himself. But try he did. He tried his hardest. But at the last moment, he'd wimp out and only get worse. Of course, he didn't let his friends have even the slightest idea of what was happening. Nevertheless, they found out. They always did.

"Volstagg, can you text Fandral?" asked Hogun.

Hogun, Volstagg, and Sif were sitting around their usual table in the cafe right in between all four friends' houses, waiting for their blond friend to arrive so they could go to the carnival a few towns over.

"Why?" asked Volstagg, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"He's not responding to any of my texts or calls."

"Maybe his phone's off," said Sif, sipping at her coffee.

"This is Fandral, though, Sif," said Volstagg. "Let's just go to his house. If he's okay after all, he deserves a scare."

The others nodded in agreement. It was a good idea to check on Fandral, because his phone was always on and Fandral always replied. He would even answer a call at two in the morning once he was pulled from sleep.

"I think you two are overreacting," said Sif as they all took their places in Volstagg's truck.

Hogun said nothing as they drove to Fandral's flat, letting the others do the talking as he worried. Because of Hogun's silence and many failed attempts at contacting Fandral, all three were on edge as they stood in front of Fandral's locked door.

"Volstagg, will you open it?"

The large red-head slammed into the door with no reply, knocking it open easily. The flat was silent, which freaked them out. Fandral always had something turned on.

"Fandral?" called Sif.

In silence, the three split up, scouring the flat for their pretty friend. Hogun found him passed out on the bed. Though he was barely breathing and had splatters of his own blood on him, Fandral still managed to look angelic. A kitchen knife was on the bed near his hand.

"Call an ambulance!" shouted Hogun frantically, launching himself onto the bed. He shook at Fandral's shoulder and the blond opened his blue eyes. "Fandral, keep looking at me, okay? Just at me. Sif! Get in here!"

Sif came rushing in, gasping at the sight that greeted her. "Wrap his arms," she commanded. "We have to slow the bleeding."

Hogun helped Sif with the job, then hugged Fandral to him. Fandral looked blearily up at him.

"Wha's wrong?" slurred Fandral in little more than a whisper.

"Shut up."

"The ambulance is here," announced Volstagg hurriedly, stepping into the room. "Give him here."

In a panicked silence, Fandral's weak body was transferred between arms before Volstagg ran off faster than one would have guessed him to go, Fandral unconscious again.

"Let's go, Hogun," said Sif gently. "Volstagg can ride in the ambulance and we'll meet him at the hospital."

Hogun nodded, though he had heard nothing but the siren of the ambulance.

"_Dammit, Fandral,"_ he thought before following Sif out the door.

It was a few hours of waiting in the hospital before Fandral woke up again, secured to his hospital bed in a sitting position, unable to move his arms. Though he tried getting out of the bonds, his attempts were weak and he soon gave up, choosing to look around the room instead. He found Sif, Volstagg, and Hogun spread around the room, asleep.

"Guys?" he said hoarsely. "Wake up..."

There was no movement and no words in reply, so Fandral just attempted to relax, trying to keep tears from coming to his eyes. But he couldn't, and ended up sobbing, and rather loudly. What made it worse was that his crying had woken the others, and he couldn't seem to stop.

"Fandral?"

There was Sif, suddenly beside him, hugging him half to death. Fandral wished his arms and voice would work, especially when Sif, the toughest of them all, started to wipe his face of tears at the same time Hogun leaped up on the other side of Fandral, hugging him as well. The show of affection only made his crying worse.

"Why'd you do that, Fandral?" asked Sif gently, once he managed to curb his crying.

Fandral looked away from Sif and Hogun, instead making eye contact with Volstagg, who was sitting on the chair next to his bed.

"He doesn't want to talk about it," said Volstagg, understanding the desperate look.

Fandral looked sadly at his friends. He wasn't going to tell them it was because it was Loki's leaving him that drove him to it. They'd just yell at him for being so very stupid before attempting to murder their raven-haired ex-friend. As a response to Fandral's silence, though, his friends thankfully took up conversation.

"They'll let you out in a few days," Sif told him happily. "But you're gonna have to stay at Hogun's for a while."

Fandral shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Thor's probably coming over tomorrow," said Hogun in his pleasantly quiet voice. "He might have to help his dad with some things though."

"And I'm going to buy you all the food you want once you're free," announced Volstagg in his best loud, happy tone.

Fandral grinned at the three. He wasn't quite sure why he was so happy so soon. Maybe it was a mood swing. He really hoped for his second option though. He was surrounded by people that loved him. And his hair seemed to still be in perfect place.

Loki didn't matter any more.

He was happy.

**I made myself sad there for a bit. Anyway, review, please.**


	2. Somebody's Watching Me

After days sitting bored in the hospital, with visits from friends being the only highlight in his day, Fandral was released to go and stay under Hogun's watch. It didn't matter to Fandral if he was still under observation and had to change his bandages still, he was free.

"Oh, GOD! The SUN!" screamed Fandral as he took a step outside, forcing Hogun to laugh.

Fandral scrambled for the sunglasses Hogun had brought him and quickly placed them over his eyes. Hogun shook his head, but still lead Fandral to his car.

"Sif and Volstagg can't wait to see you," said Hogun, starting up the car.

Fandral stayed mainly silent, still trying to get used to the light and his freedom.

"Are you okay?" asked Hogun, looking at Fandral instead of backing out.

"Yeah," replied Fandral, stomach tightening.

He didn't want to speak yet, still uncomfortable about the whole attempted suicide thing. The concern made him feel terrible, like he had disappointed them all. Hogun just nodded in understanding, taking a hold of Fandral's hand. Fandral appreciated the silence that surrounded Hogun. He was thankful that Hogun was the one he was to be staying with.

"The others are at the cafe," said Hogun after a bit.

Hogun didn't talk much while driving, instead putting his focus on the road. Hogun's parents had been killed in a car accident not too long ago.

"Cool. I finally get my freaking hot chocolate," said Fandral happily.

Of course, Fandral _wanted_ coffee, but the doctor had told him to lay off his espressos for a while.

"Hot chocolate?"

"Yeah...doctor checked my blood levels when I came in and I can't have espressos, or any coffee, really, for a few weeks..."

Hogun staid silent, but was agreeing with the doctor on the inside. Fandral went practically insane once he consumed enough caffeine. After a bit more silence, Fandral turned the car's radio on. 'Don't Trust Me' was playing from the CD.

"Oh, it's my song! This is a good day."

Hogun grinned. Fandral's luck lasted, as well, because the song stopped as soon as they arrived at the cafe. The two walked in, Fandral's old swagger back in place, and joined Sif and Volstagg at their usual table.

"Fandral!" Sif squealed, very uncharacteristically. "Come here!"

Fandral dashed at his friend and pulled her into the biggest hug he could manage. It wasn't his best hug, but he was tired already. It was the lack of physical activity he had done while in the hospital.

"Are you tired already?" asked Volstagg once Fandral had taken his seat.

"To be truthful, yes, I am," replied Fandral with a grin.

Sif stood and mussed his pretty hair, getting a rather loud objection. "What do you want?"

"Uh, hot chocolate. Not allowed to have coffee yet," he explained, before Sif could ask.

"Alright. Volstagg, gimme the money."

"I regret my promise already," muttered Volstagg, handing the money over.

Fandral gave him a reassuring smile. "I won't use much of your money, Volstagg. I've seemed to have lost my appetite while confined."

Volstagg gave him a slightly worried look. He didn't like the idea of Fandral eating less. In Volstagg's opinion, Fandral didn't eat enough in the first place. Hogun didn't object, thinking that Fandral would get his appetite back after a few decent meals. The food at that hospital was horrible. Fandral knew he would be okay, knowing he would eat when hungry and just avoid using Volstagg's money.

Sif returned shortly, snaking through a crowd of people who seemed to be focusing on Fandral now, rather than their drinks and snacks.

"Thanks," Fandral said quietly, ducking his head.

"What's wrong?"

"All of these people are staring at me in a very _concerned _way. They've heard about..."

Fandral didn't finish the sentence, just started drinking his hot chocolate. He wanted people looking at him like they used to, because they thought he was beautiful. He still was, but the looks had changed to ones of pity, and others of wonder, like they were waiting to see if he would try again. So, blushing, Fandral hid his face as best he could.

His friends looked at him in concern, then looked at each other, silently formulating a plan to help their embarrassed friend.

"Hey, Hogun, did you get that movie? The Crow?" asked Sif.

Fandral's head tilted up a bit, curiosity shining in his blue eyes. The Crow was a movie he had wanted to see for so long, but couldn't because he was too young when it came out and couldn't find it in stores. Hogun nodded at Sif, and Fandral brightened up a bit more.

"Can we go watch it?" asked Fandral, sounding a bit like a young child.

"Only after we go and get you your things from your apartment," said Hogun.

Fandral's face fell. "Do I have to come inside?"

"No."

"Alright, then. Let's get this over with," said Fandral, standing up.

Volstagg glared at the staring people as the four walked out, drinks still in hand. The people quickly looked away.

Nobody messed with Sif or 'The Warriors Three'.

Just as Hogun had promised, Fandral didn't have to put a foot inside his flat, instead staying in the car with Sif while Volstagg and Hogun went in to get some of his stuff.

"I guess you're happy to be free, huh?" asked Sif.

"Mostly. I just hope people don't keep staring at me like they did, though."

"They won't. And even if they do, you've still got us and Thor."

Fandral gave Sif a strained sort of smile and wished that his two friends would hurry up and get back outside. There was no music and he could tell that Sif wanted to know why he would try to kill himself. It was just too awkward.

"Oh, here they come," said Sif.

Over each man's shoulder was one of Fandral's bags, seemingly heavy. Fandral wondered just how much stuff the two had gotten as they slung the bags into the car's boot before climbing in.

"Alright, let's go watch that movie."

Fandral grinned at the prospect. His friends, a movie he'd been wanting to see forever, and no people to stare at him. He wondered why he had even attempted to take his life in the first place.

Now that he was with people he loved and that loved him back, it was all very stupid, even to himself.

"Awesome."

**Second chapter that has been prepared since the first chapter came out! I have saved its release until I knew what you guys wanted. So a fast update. I'll also keep making chapters if they're wanted.**


	3. Damned If I Do Ya

Without his coffee, Fandral ended up falling asleep less than halfway through the movie. He felt a bit gross, and more than a bit exhausted, and his eyes just didn't want to stay open despite his best efforts. The others weren't really surprised and just took the blond into Hogun's guest room.

"I don't like him like this," Sif grumbled. "He seems so...weak now. It's ruining his..."

Unable to think of a suitable word, Sif just gestured. The other two just nodded. A sad Fandral was a bit of a mood ruiner. A bit sadly, they returned to their movie. The Crow was just made a bit more depressing all of a sudden.

In the other room, Fandral was dreaming. This dream was one he couldn't identify as good or bad. In fact, in his dream, he was fairly sure he was awake.

_He sat in his hospital bed, bored as usual. Hogun, Sif, and Volstagg had just left, leaving him alone with the Golf channel. Who the hell would leave a young man's TV on the Golf channel? Fandral sighed. Gods, he needed some form of entertainment! As he was mulling over pressing the little 'nurse call' button, someone entered his room._

"_Hello, Fandral," said a very, very familiar voice._

_The blond jumped, startled, and looked away from the button to his new visitor. Near the doorway stood Loki, trademark long green jacket swinging slightly around his legs. Fandral's breath caught in his throat._

"_L-Loki. What are you doing here?"_

"_Visiting," said Loki with a shrug, like he wasn't at all the reason that Fandral had tried to off himself._

"_W-Well, g-go away, then."_

_Loki raised a thin black eyebrow and took a seat in the chair next to the bed. "Now, what makes you want to say that?"_

_Fandral frowned at him. "You know perfectly well why, Loki."_

_Loki gave a low chuckle. "Yes, I suppose I do. Still, for what you did and where you've been, you still look quite beautiful."_

"_Be quiet, Loki," commanded Fandral, slapping at a thin hand reaching for his hair._

_This time, Loki right out laughed, grabbing the hand that Fandral had hit him with._

"_Funny," he said, leaning toward the blond. "Very funny. Well...good bye, love."_

Fandral woke just as Loki was going to kiss him.

"Grah, awkward!" he said, sitting up and flailing a bit. "Bad brain! Don't do that!"

The door opened and he saw Sif.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" she asked.

"Bad dream," he replied, blue eyes widening at the thought of it.

"About what?" asked Sif, sitting on the bed next to him. Always the sister.

"Can't remember," he lied.

He knew it was a bad idea to mention Loki ever. His three friends didn't like him at all. Loki's own adoptive brother, Thor, was unsure, just like Fandral.

"Well, alright. Need anything?"

"Nope."

Sif mussed up his hair, making him scrunch his nose in displeasure, and left, closing the door. Fandral sat on the bed for a bit, wondering if he should go back to sleep. Deciding against it, he stood and walked back into the main room.

"You guys wouldn't mind going back to the bit with the Tin-Tin guy and the knife fighting, would you?" he asked. "I still want to watch it."

"Sure! If I can stop paying for your food," said Volstagg.

Fandral laughed his old cheery laugh, making the others feel a good bit better.

"Fair enough," said Fandral, sitting on the floor in front of the TV. "You need the money for your own rather large eating habits, don't you?"

"Is that a fat joke?"

"Possibly," said Fandral, grinning up at the red-haired man.

"Start running."

"Thank you!"

Up Fandral got, and started off, dodging all of Hogun's furniture rather nicely. Volstagg wasn't quite as lucky.

"AH! Watch out for the freaking vase!" yelled Hogun anxiously.

"Yes, mother!" Fandral called back, ducking around Volstagg and running back towards the two on the couch. "Now save me!"

Sif and Hogun had to laugh. Fandral seemed to be feeling better, though Sif had her doubts. She thought that whatever the dream had been about had spurred Fandral into trying to make himself and everyone feel better. It all seemed a bit strained.

"Alright, children, find your seats. It's movie time," said Sif.

Fandral quickly wedged himself between Hogun and Sif on the couch, seeking a bit of protection from their big friend. When Volstagg glared at him, Fandral just stuck out his tongue.

"Be_have_," commanded Sif, tugging on the blond's ear.

"Owwie! Alright! Just play the movie!"

By the time the movie was over, Fandral was sitting on the floor and being overwhelmed with 'The Feels'. This whole thing with Eric returning to his fiancee even though he was dead was just damn adorable!

"That...that's just. Wonderful!"

"You sound like a girl," said Volstagg.

"I take offense to that," said Sif.

"Shut up," pouted Fandral. "I'm a sensitive soul."

"Still sounding like a girl," teased Hogun.

"I said shush!"

Sif laughed at them. "You're acting like middle-school kids. Just hush and either put something else in or we'll go eat."

"I vote movie!" said Volstagg. "I don't feel like paying for all of the food just because I eat the most."

"Yeah. Let's watch something funny. Like Donnie Darko!"

"That's terrifying!"

"Oh, yeah...I only remembered the 'fuckass' bit for a second. How about Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Only if Sif promises not to squeal over Orlando Bloom too much," said Hogun. "It hurts my ears."

That earned him a very loud, painful-sounding slap on the arm. Fandral laughed, shifting on the floor to be comfy enough to watch another movie. Maybe he wouldn't fall asleep again.

He did.

**YAY, movies and chasing, and Fandral/Loki, and dream sequences, and STUFF! I'm so happy! By the way, Rav Lvdahl, thanks for the two reviews and I severely hope you didn't break your computer slamming my chapter and yelling 'ANOTHER!' That would suck**


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